In this week's episode I'm sharing the behind the scenes of working through my Well Paid Activation energy work session.
Some of the key themes that came up for me this week were:
Some journaling questions to dive into after listening to this episode:
1. Where am I proving myself? What am I trying to prove?
2. When am I judging myself for being lazy? How am I defining lazy?
3. What is my relationship to responsibility?
4. What does the well-paid version of me look like? How is she spending her time? How is she spending her energy? What does her business look like/how does it operate?
Join Alchemy (currently Wild Woman Unleashed) healing library membership here for only $37 and access all of my pre-recorded 1-1 style healing sessions plus my 21 day I Woke Up Worthy Mindset Upgrade course as a bonus.
This is a monthly membership and you can cancel at any time with 10 days notice.
In this week's episode I'm sharing the behind the scenes of working through my Well Paid Activation energy work session.
Some of the key themes that came up for me this week were:
Some journaling questions to dive into after listening to this episode:
1. Where am I proving myself? What am I trying to prove?
2. When am I judging myself for being lazy? How am I defining lazy?
3. What is my relationship to responsibility?
4. What does the well-paid version of me look like? How is she spending her time? How is she spending her energy? What does her business look like/how does it operate?
Join Alchemy (currently Wild Woman Unleashed) healing library membership here for only $37 and access all of my pre-recorded 1-1 style healing sessions plus my 21 day I Woke Up Worthy Mindset Upgrade course as a bonus.
This is a monthly membership and you can cancel at any time with 10 days notice.
Hello, I am so excited to be here for this second week of my self healing experiment. I have so much to share with you guys, first thing being that I think I talked a little bit about resistance to your own healing in this last episode and I definitely was feeling that, definitely feeling that this week and I'm just loving that I have this space here to one share what's going on in a very vulnerable and real way, but also just that accountability that's built in and that's something that I'm kind of realizing already on this journey is that for me, I'm one of those people that I need a little bit of external accountability, and it doesn't mean I'm rather than making myself wrong, because in the past I used to feel like that was a bad thing and that needing external accountability means that I was weak or I'm lazy or I'm unmotivated, and what I'm learning about myself and also just like on this ADHD journey, is that having that accountability is more like this gift I can give myself to show up and to not be so hard on myself and to know that there are other people who can benefit from this journey and can benefit from just hearing about how things are going, and so having this external accountability helps me to not make it all about myself in such a way that I make it more difficult than it has to be. I really just I'm like, okay, I've made this commitment, I've made it as simple as possible to follow through on and now all I have to do is show up. So it kind of take. Having the accountability gets me out of my head more and makes taking the step simpler, because I'm not just making it about my own inner mind and my own inner things that I'm dealing with. I remember that this is more than just about me and that is so helpful and I'm just wondering if that resonates for a lot of people. I have a feeling it does. But the next thing so what I worked on this week. So I have a library of prerecorded healings and you might find this a little bit funny, but I'm finding that doing my own prerecorded healings where I get to kind of show up and just be held, even if it is by myself because I'm the one that recorded them, I'm finding that a lot easier and a great way to cut the resistance. It's also easier because I just get to be in that healing container, whereas if I'm having to be the healer and the facilitator and the person doing the healing. It just feels like a lot. So this is kind of like my own little loophole to receive my own healing. And if anyone's curious about this library of healings that I have, I'm gonna drop the link for you below and you are welcome to join.
Speaker 1:But the first healing that I did is all about well paid. So it's this well paid activation and with this well paid activation it's about clearing any of the resistance or fear or limiting beliefs that I have around what it means to be well paid for my gifts, for my work, for being myself. And I noticed a lot of patterns coming up as I was doing the work. One of the big ones was this fear of being seen as lazy. And what's interesting is that when I really thought about it I was like, okay, what is it about being lazy that is so scary for me? And when I thought about it it wasn't so much about my self, like if no one else was around, right and no one else would know, and I just got to do the things that I wanted to do and there was no pressure, then lazy wouldn't feel so bad. But it's more this fear of other people seeing me as lazy and judging my results on. Oh, she's just being lazy, she doesn't deserve that.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of worthiness around that and of course, a lot of that comes from conditioning and the society that we live in. We have been taught from a very young age that our worth comes from how much we work and how hard we work for something. And if something comes easy to us, we can feel unworthy or undeserving or like who am I to receive this? I didn't have to work that hard for it. And then there's the other level of that where if we get to do something we really love and we enjoy and we're working towards that thing, we are putting our energy and our time and our love into it. If we enjoy it, it almost kind of negates the hard work. We're like oh well, I enjoyed it, so that's, it's not hard work, it has to be something I don't love. I have to trudge through all this stuff that I hate doing and then I'll get the reward on the other side. So it kind of feels like we are breaking the rules and doing something we're not supposed to if we actually enjoy the process and I think that's where a lot of the laziness conditioning comes from. It's not actually about being lazy.
Speaker 1:And because when I wrote down, I was like, okay, well, what are the things that I do that make me feel like I'm being lazy? And some of the things that came up were resting, just resting and taking some time away for myself. That feels lazy. Taking my time doing something, so not rushing through things, letting things just flow, letting it be natural, not feeling like I have to push myself. That feels lazy. Having hobbies, having things that I do just for the sake of it, because it makes me smile, it makes me happy. Even doing things with my partner right, like my fiance I was like you know going on dates and just going and enjoying being with him without there having to be some task or this thing that we're checking off our to-do list that can feel lazy.
Speaker 1:And the more I was answering this question, the more I realized just how toxic this is, this concept of lazy, and I have a feeling that a lot of us really resonate with that, especially women, because more than anyone, like women from a young age, we're taught that our value comes from how pleasing we can be, how much work we can do for other people caretaking, nurturing, and so when we're focusing on ourselves, doing something that feels good for us, it can feel wrong, it can feel lazy, it can feel like we're selfish, right? So lazy to me can be very closely entwined with selfishness. And how this all relates to being well paid is that often, when we think about being really well paid for something, we think about making a lot of money and not having to work as hard for it. It's like and if we are making a lot of money, we might even create the belief that if I'm going to make this much money, I need to work twice as hard. So we're kind of in a double bind here. On one side, we're like well, if I want to make more money, I'm going to have to be burned out, I'm going to be having to work more than I already am, I'm going to be exhausted, I'm going to be adrained. So then of course, we don't want that. We don't want to feel worse than we already do. So we're like no, you know, actually, as much as I would love to be well paid for what I do, that sounds like something that is not going to work for me. And then, on the other side of that, we're like well, what if I didn't have to work really hard? What if I could make a lot of money doing what I love doing what I'm passionate about, doing something that really helps people and I don't have to work so hard? It does get to feel easy. Then there's guilt that comes along with that right, that selfishness, that feel fear of being lazy or being seen as being lazy, being judged, being rejected, not being relatable. That's a big one. We wanna feel relatable, right. We wanna feel like people relate to us, they get us, that we're a part of the community, and so I feel like there's so much wrapped up into this well-paid energy and that's a lot of. What I was clearing in this session is that fear of being lazy.
Speaker 1:But also there was another layer here that responsibility. When we want to make more money, we often associate that with I'm gonna have more responsibility, right, which is fair. It's a very fair assessment. It's kinda like I'm gonna be a little nerdy for a second, but when you watch Spider-Man and Uncle Ben said, with great power comes great responsibility. But I think when we hear the word responsibility again because of the society we grew up in, we immediately think of. That's gonna be a lot of hard work.
Speaker 1:But what if responsibility doesn't have to be so heavy? What if responsibility can actually be something we truly desire, doing something that matters, knowing that our work is so meaningful and that it creates a lot of value for other people? The more that we sell it, the more lives that we're touching, the more sales we make, the more impact that we're making, and there is a certain level of responsibility to that. But why does that have to feel bad? Why does that have to feel scary? And I feel like at the root of that, it's all connected right to that feeling of am I enough, am I good enough? And feeling like we might have to prove ourselves, we might have to become somebody else in order to hold that, in order to be the person who can be well-paid doing what we love to do, and so I feel like we're just kind of creating a lot of pressure around what it means to step into our next level and do the work that we're here to do.
Speaker 1:And so one of the main things that I'm taking away from this session is really just letting go of this fear of being seen as lazy, but also leaning into that responsibility, leaning into that inner leader that I have inside of me and knowing that it is safe to lead, it is safe to be responsible for something. You know, I think that there's this fear of failure like, oh my gosh, what if it doesn't work out? What if I do something wrong? What if I fail? What if I disappoint people? I think that's a big one for a lot of people, and at the core of that is this, basically, fear of not being able to trust yourself, because, at the end of the day, we do live in a world where we don't know from one moment to the next what could happen. We are not in complete control, and that's okay, right, we just do the best we can with what we have.
Speaker 1:And if we live in this constant fear of, well, I can't control what's gonna happen and, you know, basically avoid the things that we truly desire, because of that, we're truly limiting our ability to be happy and to be wildly fulfilled in our lives. And so what we have to build it's like a muscle that we have to build is can I trust myself if this thing were to happen, if I were to disappoint people, if I were to do something wrong if I were to fail at something, if I got rejected, if I showed up and nobody cared, whatever, like, whatever. The fear that you have is it's like well, can I trust myself to handle that situation? And not only can I trust myself, can I trust my future self? Because the thing is and I think a lot of people don't think about this when they have, like the sphere of being an imposter is that you're thinking about things that might happen in the future.
Speaker 1:When you get to this level and most of the time in that process, in that journey to your next level, you become wiser, you become stronger, you become the kind of person who can hold the thing that you're wanting to achieve. And so, inevitably, at the point where you become the leader that is impacting a lot of people and you're being really paid well for what you do, if something goes wrong, you are going to be equipped more than equipped to handle it, more than you realize right now. And so, if that's part of like what's been holding you back as a sphere of like, what am I going to do? I don't know how to handle this, being able to, like, lean into that trust and know that every single day that you're showing up is you building that trust muscle within yourself and you're building that resilience and you're building that wisdom within, and so that's been really huge for me this week, just like exploring all of these different aspects. And the other thing that's come through in this week of self healing is also like remembering that.
Speaker 1:What got me so when I first started my business back in 2015, I feel like I was able to quickly create a community at the arriving community of incredible people and I felt deeply connected to the people I was serving and helping. And a big piece of that that I haven't done in a while and I kind of like didn't connect the dots until this week just doing this work is that I used to bring people along the journey with me. I didn't have this preconceived notion in the beginning that I needed to be this, this leader, this person who's like few steps ahead, or this person that's on a pedestal. I didn't feel like I needed to convince or prove myself. I just showed up and I think a big piece of it was that one.
Speaker 1:There was a bit of naivete there, right like it was my first year as a business owner, so I didn't really know, I didn't have all of that preconceived ideas of what it means to run a business and what it means to be a leader. I just was like you know what. This is something I feel really passionate about. I'm just share my journey. So I wasn't trying to hold back in any way. I was really sharing and storytelling and bringing people along for the ride and even though in some ways, you know, some people saw me as a peer because of that, other people realized, without me having to say anything, that I was creating a life that they really very much wanted to create for themselves, or they wanted to create their own version, and they felt like I was the person that could help them get there.
Speaker 1:And so what I'm realizing this year and what I want to focus on and how I'm marketing my own healing work and the work that I do in the world, I want to bring back that storytelling. I want to bring back that vulnerability and being willing to share what feels uncomfortable at times, but bringing people along for this ride, but while also standing strong, in fact that I am a leader and I do have a lot to offer as an energy worker and a healer and a mentor. I have this powerful, you know presence and ability to really get to the heart of what's holding people back. I have these gifts but rather than feeling like I have to prove something, I have to convince you of their value. I'm just gonna show you. I'm just gonna show you the work that I'm doing on myself. I'm gonna bring you along on that ride and if you're really wanting to see the behind the scenes, obviously the podcast is a great way to do that and hire here.
Speaker 1:But I'm gonna be going on tiktok and I'm gonna be sharing more of this journey there as well, and I'm just really feeling called to be more open and not put so much pressure on myself to be a certain level or to be at a certain point in my journey in order to be impactful, in order to know that what my work, that my work is valuable and I think that's a big piece of the energy work I did this week was right around that well paid energy. It seems, when you hear that word well paid, oh, it's gonna be all about making money, but actually and this is with any kind of energy work that you do it's never what you think it is. Our conscious mind does not really run the show. It's our subconscious mind, and what we think is holding us back is normally a lot more nuanced than we think right, and it's usually tied to a lot of other things. And so for me, that well paid energy, I feel like a lot of it was tied around that fear of being lazy, that fear of being selfish, feeling like I had to be somebody different than I am, like I had to be more head, that I had to convince, I had to prove, and I'm just not about that life in twenty, twenty four, right, like that is just not the vibe, and I'm really excited to have had this breakthrough this week and I would really love to know how this is, yeah, how this is impacting you, just hearing about it. But secondly, if you feel like you want to do this same healing, like I said, I'm gonna drop the link for my healing library. It's going. The healing library is called alchemy. By the way, I haven't completely rebranded and renamed it yet, so currently you're gonna see it called wild woman unleashed.
Speaker 1:But I'm just feeling like alchemy is what I want to call this membership, because when I think about alchemy, right, you're taking something and you're turning it into something else. So we have this energy, we have our beautiful energy system and there's gunk, right, there's stuff in there based on our experiences, based on things that have happened to us that have created these beliefs. It's created this stuck energy, the stress around certain things for us, because, at the core our subconscious mind, our nervous system, our energy it just wants to help us survive right, it wants to protect us, and so it's not going from a bad place. However, it can really limit us from being the person that we want to be in, having the things that we want to have and making the impact that we truly want to make. And so, when we do this deep energy work, we are taking something that was once stuck and we're letting it flow again. We're taking something that used to be a big point of fear or doubt or limitation and returning it into abundance and expansion and growth. And so I'm like, yes, that's alchemy, right, that is alchemy. And so I'm actually going to be opening it up right now for a really affordable price. It will be going up in the future, but for right now it's gonna be just thirty seven dollars a month to access this library, and there are a ton of healings in there. So it's not just the well paid energy Activation in there. There's tons of different ones in there. Mainly, it's the things that Women in business leaders tend to face when they're growing their business, and so if that resonates for you, drop the link here in the show notes for you. But I would love to have you and I feel like it'd be really fun to be going on this journey together, because I'll be going through these healings as well and creating more. I'll be creating more as well, but, but yeah, that's what I have for you guys this week.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna leave you with a question, a couple of journaling questions, because I think this will kind of help you to deepen into this, even if you don't do any energy work around it. I want you to ask yourself a question when am I Proving, where am I trying to prove, or where am I proving myself? I want you to also ask when am I judging myself for being lazy and how am I defining lazy? What does that look like? The other piece is I want you to connect with what is your relationship with responsibility? Is it something that you tend to try to avoid? Is it something that you're afraid of? Is it something that you maybe lean into your whole life and maybe it doesn't feel so good because of, maybe, how you've done it in the past. Maybe you were the responsible child, right, I was definitely that responsible child growing up and I think part of me kind of rebels against that now because I'm like, no, I'm not a child anymore. I want to do what I want to do, and so there can be a lot of layers there.
Speaker 1:But I just want you to really dive into what's your responsibility with what's your responsibility, what's your relationship to responsibility, and then, if you want to go a step deeper, maybe just kind of just tapping into what does the well-paid version of me look like? How is she spending her time? How is she spending her energy? You know, what does her business look like? And not only well-paid, right, but well-rusted. I think that's important. Not well-paid at the expense of anything else, but well-paid in the most wall-y, fulfilling sense. I'm gonna drop these questions for you in the show notes as well, but I'm so excited to connect with you this week. Like I said, this is going to be a weekly series for a while and there's just gonna be different things that pop up, and my hope is that, out of everything I'm sharing, you're gonna get at least one nugget that you can take away and apply to your own life and your own business. Alright, that is all for this week.